We started the day by teaching a few lessons. We didn't end up doing gym class as we hoped, but it worked out. Then we had an assembly. Gosh, was it amazing. It was a bunch of kids singing for us and the teachers telling us things about how they missed us. All I can remember is that I was crying, Gracie was sobbing, Jodie was bawling, and everyone in between was at least tearing up. If you looked into the crowd of kids every single face was wet and their eyes were red. Even the big boys and grown ups.
After we made a line and everyone came and hugged us. What made me break was that all the kindergarten and first graders were crying. All my friends were sobbing and everyone I'd become so close to was breathing heavy and shaking.
After we hugged everyone we could we went to the cafeteria to clean ourselves up a bit. It didn't work. The room that was usually filled with laughter and eating and chattering cuties was silent. Deadly, deadly silent. As we went in, crying started. Silent sobbing. It was the absolute worst. I quickly got myself out of there and went to the 5th grade. They were a tiny bit more composed and all wanted my email. I wrote it for what seemed like a million times and gave hugs and took pictures.
After I finished with them I went to the younger ones again and gave hugs and wiped tears. It was so hard to beg them not to cry as I was sobbing my hardest. I can't count how many times I said it would be okay, and that I loved them and would try my hardest to come back.
Another thing really touched me today was this little girl. I've noticed her this whole trip because she's so sweet, and honestly reminds me of me in 1st grade. She raises her hand for every question and her teacher says she could run the whole class if she wanted. I'm regretting so much that I didn't tell her how special she was and how smart she is and how shell be able to do great, amazing, beautiful things if she focuses on school and continues to work hard. All I did was hold her as she cried and tried to calm her down. I feel so bad about that, and its my goal to find her again and let her know this. I mean, what if no ones told her that? And she really needs to know it. I love her.
So many touching things happened today. Teacher Marva was crying and she told me to keep being the sweet precious thing I was and I sobbed. She's an amazing woman and much sweeter then Ill ever be no matter what I do, and that just made me so happy. I love her too.
There's this little boy names Tsepo and he goes to aftercare and he's the sweetest little thing. He's in 4th grade and loved Gracie and me. I steal his scarf and he drew me one time. He's just hilarious, and gives the best facial expressions when I try to hug him. Today, he was sobbing and he came and hugged us first, even though he claims that we hug him too much and that he's not a baby. I held him for as long as he'd let me kissed his head and made him promise to text me. He promised and then hid his face so I couldn't see him cry any longer. I also love him.
I hated today. I don't know if I'll ever see any of these kids again. I can't handle that thought. I need this kids. I love them more then anyone I've ever known and I can't even promise that ill be able to see them again. That's just the worst feeling ever, you don't even know...
I saw God in the fact that these kids showed me so much love. If God is love then these children are God. All they do is love and love and love and you can tell that it's real love. They mean it when they say that they love us, and its not just like a 14 year old girl saying I love you to her best friend. It's serious, honest, true and most of all REAL love. It's love that makes you feel alright over using the word. And that's what God is. And that's what these kids show. And that's what I'll miss most.
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